I Quit to Win

In life we are taught that we should not quit, we should see things through to completion and we should not succumb to feelings of wanting to give up. And I would agree with these sentiments 100%. That being said, I quit my postgraduate diploma in mental health nursing in 2016!

In 2015 I decided to study a postgraduate diploma to become a mental health nurse. Studying behaviour and mental health has always been of interest to me. I love those psychological crime drama programmes and I enjoy motivational style seminars so because I like helping people I settled on the career of child psychotherapist when I was in high school many years earlier. To get into this particular career more studying was required and it is generally a second career due to how much it costs just to train (this is mainly why I chose to go down the route of mental health nursing). After completing my first degree in Psychosocial Studies, I was working as a teaching assistant and felt I needed to complete another degree to work my way up the 'career ladder'. There was this desire I had to do more, be more and have more so back to school I went.

there was this desire that I had to do more, be more and have more

Whilst on this degree I met lovely people yet found myself unhappy with the way I was living. The choices I was making - how I had found myself going through the motions of existing but no longer living with any sense of true autonomy over my own life. Quick Side note:  I'd just like to add nurses are completely underrated and go without sufficient recognition for how they sacrifice their lives for the sake of their jobs and the well-being of their patients. So I salute you and thank you for your services. As I mentioned earlier I met amazing people but one in particular who I call my Guru, spearheaded the attack on my current way of living or simply existing, to me freeing myself from the control of fear, doubt and worry which ultimately led me to a courageous point in my life where I would either keep following the norm or the old way in which things are done or take a leap of faith and pursue a life under my own terms and conditions that is fulfilling to me! I had chosen a box long ago that I thought I had to fit into because I was under the illusion that you just need to find a job in life and that's it (I chose child psychotherapist). Whenever I had that niggle of discomfort with my life I thought I needed to pursue filling that box not realising what I needed to do was reflect and work out what my truest desires really were...

By chance I met with Guru

The day began, I was heading to my class with looming dread over my head - bills, daily expenditures and I had recently had a car accident so dealing with insurance was stressful. The conversation myself and Guru were having sounded like a Think and Grow Rich Seminar, as we discussed a definiteness of purpose and our truest desires. She mentioned she didn't feel like she was living in her God-given purpose and honestly that one conversation was the lightbulb moment where I realised, neither was I! I had been duped like many others into following a path rather than carving out my own. Walking almost blindly in my own my story and the scary thing was I didn't actually realise it! We had let ideas of others influence how we saw ourselves and how we built our lives. I went home that day and I searched within myself to find my truth. Who did I want to be? How did I want to live? What really makes me happy? How can I become the person I need to be to achieve my goals?

I had been duped like many others into following a path rather than carving out my own

Two month later I had a business idea, backing from my partner to pursue it and a new relationship with fear & faith that I hadn't experienced before in my life. And in the moment where I decided to jump ship and swim in this new arena, I knew that I wouldn't regret this decision even if I failed because there is no other way to really live, than to be true to yourself.

From therapy to hair!

So I came up with this idea of building an online hair store. Honestly, I love the idea of transforming yourself to present a different side of who you are by simply changing your hairstyles. It might just be me, but I know a different look says different things about me and presents a different aspect of my character, be it serious or playful. The versatility we have with our hair, is one that I adore and it is why I chose to get into this industry (as saturated as it is)! I began it with great vision and it has been the hardest, most rewarding and at times depleting journey I have embarked on. I have been disappointed in myself at times with how it has turned out, but I am also so hopeful because of the many ideas that are constantly revealed. The room to grow is so vast and refreshing that it keeps me excited about the project. Role Mode is my first business baby and I can admit I have caught the business bug! On this blog you will see a shop link at the top of the page which is to the Role Mode store, and our Role Mode Instagram account is also attached to this blog.

I have learnt so much about business, about hair and about myself that I would not have learnt had I not taken the leap of faith. I have met some amazing people who have inspired my journey and business ideas. My Guru is still encouraging me, supporting me and keeping me focused on what is ahead and not what is now or what once was. Though I have not achieved and completed all  the goals I have listed for the business and myself, I am not disheartened or dismayed because it is only the beginning and the necessary occurrence that will ultimately teach me, mould and shape my character and guide me to the next level version of myself. Starting and growing a business is not easy!

I love the idea of transforming yourself to present a different side of yourself with changing hairstyles

Advice from a former fear-driven victim

Now I am walking consciously aware of the influence of fear and doubt and I now use fear as it was intended. A quick google search of 'what is the purpose of fear' told me that fear is to motivate us to act usually in avoidance. It is a factor in that flight or fight response we all have and from a point of fear we form our decisions especially when a lot is at stake. The Susan Jeffers book titled 'Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway' is true to live by. 'Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear'. My advice to anyone asking would be:

1. When making any decision about your life (big or small) make it with your whole heart. Don't go half-heartedly into it because you may fail, not because it was a bad idea, but because you were not committed to the decision you made
2. Every victory and every failure is a learning curve and if used correctly can propel you to your next level
3. Never compare yourself with another. Your life is unique to you and therefore can't be compared to anyone or anything. There is no marker for where you should be or how you should be (not including what we call common sense and general curtesy!). Don't stunt your own growth by watching where others have found themselves. Be inspired by them and keep it moving! 

Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear

Every step we take in life is generally made with the hopes and desires of improving our lives. We expect to be wiser, happier and more fulfilled on the other side of our decisions. I now see every twist and turn of my life as valuable lessons for the next stage I encounter. That doesn't mean that just because I understand it, it doesn't frustrate or hurt any less! For me, life is at times a puzzle and as different pieces are revealed the bigger picture starts to make sense. Find the ones that encourage and motivate you to keep going because the journey can be frustrating and lonely. Find the good things that feed your soul and keep hold of it. Don't give up hope.

OK I'm done...for now! I will have another post ready for you to read soon, so in the meantime comment, share and enjoy! 

Chantal x