Now I feed my soul

Image from Sassy Girl Fit

My mornings consist of meditation, prayer and binging on motivational quotes and affirmations. It's my way of dispelling the worries and doubts and replacing them with faith, belief and positive expectation.

Starting this chapter of my life was tricky because I was wearing so many hats and trying to fulfil so many roles and obligations. I wore the hat of daughter & sister; dealing with family issues and contending with old wounds that never really seemed to heal as we all attempted to gloss over the truth and ignore the remnants of previous problems - when the truth had to be told we all picked a side (I'll do a post on that later!). I wore the hat of girlfriend - entering into a relationship with someone my soul just clicked with and not on a superficial level but on that plane where we both knew there was something different going on here like it was just meant to be, but also dealing with the fact that we both didn't want to find ourselves in a relationship at this point in our lives! I wore the hat of college dropout! I'm playing! I wore the hat of business-woman; working on building myself and knowledge of business to be effective and start and run my own company - also doing it with my partner so mixing hats! That aspect alone was hard to deal with! And then I wore the hat of friend - this hat I will have to say got the most neglect. The old me that was down for everything and everyone was tired and wanted a new, fresh start in something stable and secure. I was overwhelmed with my desire to fix existing problems and build the new in my life and I had to declare playtime over for myself. It definitely caused some rifts, even to this day, but in the end I had to choose what was best for me (as they all chose what was best for them) because after awhile you can't be begging for friendship - if its not reciprocated anymore you just gotta let it go...

The struggle of the complexities of life left me feeling weak to the point of dry cries (this is the crying without tears! - go checkout my Uncle Sizzla's song 'Just One of Those Days - he's not actually my Uncle but he is my elder!). I saw how these situations were literally draining my soul, my energy and positive vibrations and I had to make some decisions about them. I had to let go of what doesn't feed my soul. If it stopped making me feel good, I had to stop moving with it. I am all for peace and understanding and I definitely believe that when there's misunderstanding and confusion an honest conversation can go a long way to clearing the air but that's only when everyone involved is on that same page. You know that feeling where something happens and you want to get that sense of closure, the understanding, the explanation from a person... well I had to get over the fact that sometimes I'm just not going to get that. Sometimes I won't know why, so can I learn to move on anyway? It's still a process, but I'm better at it now than I was before.

Learning to reflect is the greatest thing you can do for yourself. Work out what fuels you and what resides in your subconscious mind. Aristotle said 'knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom' and it is true. Knowing the insecurities that plague your mind and perception of yourself, empower you to deal with them and hopefully evict them! You can then replace them with beliefs about yourself that are true, that are empowering and that can help you to transform your life and current realities.

Feed your soul first thing in the morning, and throughout your day where possible, and not only will you feel good, your life will start to change around you for the better too. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams; give yourself internal and external goals. Once you can convince your mind of a thing, you can manifest it in your real world.

Chantal x